Why am I lonely?

lonely

ˈləʊnli/

adjective

adjective: lonely; comparative adjective: lonelier; superlative adjective: loneliest

1. 1.

   sad because one has no friends or company.

   "lonely old people whose families do not care for them"

   synonyms:

   isolated, alone, all alone, friendless, companionless, without friends/companions, with no one to turn to, outcast, forsaken, abandoned, rejected, unloved, unwanted;

I was thinking yesterday why am I feeling lonely? I live and work with 22 other people. Here at Emmaus Sheffield there is always someone about so I have to actively seek out time alone, but yet this weekend I was feeling lonely.

As I was looking at the definition above the one word that jumped out at me was companionless. I think this  is what loneliness really is, living life without a companion. We can be surrounded 24/7 by people we know, but without a companion we are alone. Looking at the definition of companion the terms or words/essence of the words is a travel companion. In the context of loneliness we are talking about a travel companion for life.

Companionship doesn't need to mean sexual partner, what we are really talking about is best friend in whatever form they take, mate, colleague, sibling, parent or lover, same sex or different. I remember watching old British black and white movies and those period films of the early 20th century there was quite often single characters travelling with their best friend who they would refer to as "Their travelling companion."

We all need companionship in life, how many screwed up relationships and people do we see because of misunderstanding what true companionship is. Companionship is not sexual, it is emotional/spiritual, it is about deep connections - far deeper than physical - This is not to say your sexual partner can't be your ideal companion, it just means this may not always be the case and doesn't need to be.

So then, the real definition of being lonely should be;

"To lack a best friend, life's travel companion."